


write me the truth

by a_simple_person



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Byun Baekhyun & Do Kyungsoo | D.O Friendship, ChanBaek - Freeform, Coming Out, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff, KaiSoo - Freeform, Karma is a Bitch, M/M, Park Chanyeol Being an Asshole, a little psychological, baekhyun have an hard time, im not english sorry, kokobop era, kyungsoo will help a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 03:53:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14947080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_simple_person/pseuds/a_simple_person
Summary: Baekhyun has two problems in life, the first is that he's gay and he has to announce it to his members, the second is that he's also in love with one of them.| not to mention that sometimes things don't go as expected |





	write me the truth

**Author's Note:**

> hello there ~  
> first I don't know if I will continue this fanfic. ( i will try ) 
> 
> I had the inspiration, well the idea to take this inspiration of a film that I saw on Netflix "'4th man out" which treats of a man who confesses his homosexuality to his friends and who lives one way or another the acceptance of their friend. it made me think a lot and the theme (even if the coming out theme is seen and reviewed) got me more and I wanted to start writing something about how people act or react etc (then we will not lie that it's also *cough* for chanbaek *cough*) I also want to write this because homosexuality is very difficult in asia and in korea, and even if i don't live in this country I can maybe understand and write it like I feel it jfdsjdkjkd 
> 
>  
> 
> don't hesitate to tell me if you want me to continue or if I have to stop (I don't know what to do, it's a bit of a test) or if you have questions idk  
> I thank you in advance if you read, I am honored every time we read what I write. 
> 
> Love ya

Buddha once said « three things who cannot be long hidden : the sun, the moon and the truth. »

P r e a m b l e

 

\- - -

 

          We call "Miracle", an exceptional event that can only occur with a probability of 10 power minus 6, that’s to say almost one chance in a million. The fact is that Baekhyun - him - had never believed, or perhaps had the wisdom to believe in these miracles or chances. If the human tends to look for a chance everywhere without actually seeing it, he wasn’t looking for it - almost escaping. As far back as he can remember, he always thought that this miracle story - or something divine that may have some other name - was just a pretext for people to explain things that weren’t explainable. If science added numbers and probabilities, Baekhyun would say that it’s only this "mere coincidence’. If people used folk, myths and changed reality, Baekhyun would say that people are too stupid and they just don’t want to admit that some things happen to happen and that if it wasn’t a matter of chance, it's just a story of destiny.

 

However, when the years began to flow as fast as a river impossible to stop and his thoughts or opinions ended up changing at the same time as the self-awareness, Baekhyun ended up wanting this little miracle in his life. If on a probability of 10 power minus 6 could create a miracle, the blond would feel removed from a weight that lasts since birth.

 

Since then he has been looking for a moment, or maybe a way to get to this event. A way of saying things as he felt without paying attention to everything that was going on around him. Long before becoming the idol of the year with his companions, Baekhyun had sought, for a long time sought, this way of saying the things that haunt him. But, how to explain something that he can’t explain. How to explain something that belongs to him - his personality - and that no one has ever noticed or said "it will happen to him". Because he couldn’t find the right words in front of his parents to tell them, as a teenager, that it wouldn’t be a pass in his life. Nor even being an adult, he didn’t have simple words, sweet words to tell them that it will be forever – in this way.

 

He had already prepared for all eventualities. Renie, thrown, humiliated, insulted. Looks on you. Expressions of disgust that follow you until you die. He could have confessed for a few years, all sway and never look back. However, what is reserved for this kind of person - the one of which Baekhyun was a part - is only pain, suffering, close to a maddening melancholy with a total rejection of society, its friends surely and his family. Even if on a paper - since entering college or high school - he had written all the ways to avoid a drama, he had also written all the ways to survive without anyone else around him, nor anything, but even with these papers he remained imprisoned in a universe of lies and truth.

 

          People on the Internet have so many theories. Recently, Baekhyun found himself looking for all the internet pages and forums that talk about problems like his. On some self-help forum where a person exposes his problem and others respond to help improve or get out of his situation, he found this forum that was used as a kind of ‘group therapy’. People were added to groups and one person - a moderator - took care of everyone's interaction, helping others to express themselves, and so on. Everything was done in writing in a little chat. Baekhyun had registered - out of sheer curiosity, but also for answers to his questions - and for nearly a month had spoken with these people - strangers - who were all living in difficult situations. So after that month he ended up asking them, whether he had to confess the truth, or just hide it from everyone's eyes until the end of his life, even to his closest friends, even his family.

 

People on the Internet _really_ have all kinds of theories. Several people responded and he quickly noticed that the group was grouping itself into two categories. Some are quick to say that the truth is better for you, for health, for the weight on the shoulders felt for too many years to have deliberately hidden this fact. The truth is a reward in itself, it helps in everything and sometimes it is used to quickly settle situations sometimes unsupportable. Then others will simply answer that lying is hiding a truth to protect itself, that even if it's hard to live - a life of lying sometimes - it's always better than losing everything. _The lie exists for a good reason - question of survival._ Yet then comes the second group that refutes everything that the previous group has explained. For them, lies are necessary and the truth is still not good to hear. They join those who say that lying is used to protect oneself or just to protect others from this truth.

 

At that time, Baekhyun thought it was already a lost cause. Since no one had really helped, he just told himself he was really in the shit. He closed his computer, told himself to never going on a forum and just waited until his conscience hit him hard for a revelation to come to him.

 

Once again. He was in shit and he needed a fucking miracle. _Or maybe two._

 

          He sighed, circled in bed, moaning in despair, then turned again and again and finally stared at the ceiling. His computer had just fallen to the ground, making him jump and swear under the fear that caught him off guard and he got up from the bed. The dorm was quiet, he didn’t even know who was doing what. Some had to be outside, others sleeping, playing on the console, watching TV or .. he knew nothing about it. Baekhyun looked at the room with a weary look and sighed again. His soul seemed to evaporate with each breath and his sadness added to each breath of air.

 

Suddenly he didn’t give himself time to think twice, he pursed his lip, gibbering in the room of frustration before rushing on his cell phone, going directly write a message on the chat group. "Tomorrow night, be all at home, I have something to say to you". He didn’t have time to regret that he had already sent the message, already seen by Kyungsoo, Junmyeon and Sehun. And he didn’t know how he would go about it.

 

Baekhyun didn’t know how the next day he was going to have to tell the members - his friends that he considers a family - that in fact he's been gay _since like_ _forever_ and that he just went out with girls to skew the tracks. He inhales, laughs nervously before becoming pale and goes to bed. Sleeping was his only solution to not thinking because thinking would be like saying he has two problems in his life. One is that he is gay and he will have to announce it and the next is that he has a crush for six years on one of the members – member who is probably straight like a rock.

 

If there is one thing he understood by keeping all these things to himself, it’s because he always knew that one day Karma would give him all that. The wheel turns, turns, turns, but it never stops - except when we decided to stop it. Life is the same, it turns like a wheel. Life is a wheel.

 

– Or a whore.


End file.
